And so another year begins. For me, the same as last year (and several before that), relaxing at home, watching the New York Philharmonic Special on PBS.
Actually, this New Year is different.
Because ten months ago I became a part of the blogosphere. And in the intervening months, I have been blessed get to know folks from all over, via this collection of tubes. And I have even been lucky enough to actually meet a couple of you in person.
So, to all my new friends out there, from just down the road to other continents, I would like to wish you a
Happy New Year!!!!
31 December 2007
A Word From Teh Kittehs
A couple of days ago, the Pussies For Peace over at PoliTits tagged Puff and Callie (my feline overlords) to do the "7 Lies" meme. When I informed them of this singular honor, they... well, they looked at me as though I was loopy (which is normal, truth to tell).
But then they went into "cogitation mode" - which looks a whole lot like sleeping - and have, just now, handed me the followingmanifesto epistle. So, without further ado...
But then they went into "cogitation mode" - which looks a whole lot like sleeping - and have, just now, handed me the following
UPDATE: From across the pond, comes this image....
Greetings and Salutations, Gentle Readers! We are Puff and Callie, the Secret Lair Kittehs, and we are pleased to have this chance to raise the level of dialogue on this miserable excuse for a blog that our pet human, Phydeaux, maintains. Bless his heart, he really tries.
We thought long and hard over this, and anguished most about what title with which to label our list. We were going to call it...We Can Haz 7 Lize: Teh Meowme
...but, to be honest, we detest the sappy human convention that we are not intelligent and articulate sentient creatures. Really, the thought that Cats can only express themselves through some sort of pidgin English... how terribly droll. Ha. Ha. It is to laugh.
We have, instead, decided to entitle our post as....The Seven Awful Truths About Cats That Humans Can't Admit
1) Cats are responsible for Civilisation. Ever wonder why the Ancient Egyptians and other civilisations (like, umm, the whole of Central and South American ones) revered the Cat? The records may record that Knowledge to rise above mere subsistence may have come from Viracocha or Osiris, but even then the mystics and historians were unable to admit that Cats taught them how to farm and predict the seasons and on and on.
2) Cats have advanced mental abilities. With what appears to be just a simple look, we can alter the emotional state of you inferior humans. It is actually during the moment of eye contact that we can alter the receptors in your brains, and make you feel pleasure... or not... as we wish.
3) We own our humans, not the other way around. How else to explain your fawning attempts to please us by providing food and ear skritchings on demand (see #2 above for an explanation of this ability)? This is nothing more than simple favor currying. You serve us, we stimulate your pleasure centers.
4) re: Horking all over your home.... We do this simply to give you something to do while we enjoy the sleep of the just. We don't wish for our human pets to feel unneeded when we are not in obvious need of something.
5) re: Sleeping 20 hours a day.... We aren't sleeping, we are meditating and exercising our awesome mental abilities. You humans are so easy to control that we must spend most of our time flexing our mental muscles in order to not lose our higher functions, such as long-range communication and,... well, you aren't ready to hear of our other higher functions.
6) Catnip. Okay, we hate to shatter the illusion here, but catnip is about as interesting and "mind-altering" to us as a lump of coal. Unfortunately, a long time ago, one of our... shall we say, lesser mentally endowed... ancestors exhibited a predilection to roll in and/or eat catnip. This pleased his human servants so much that we, as a species, decided to adopt this behaviour - in order to more inculcate humans to serve us. At best, catnip has a pleasing scent, and we use it to cover the horrid smells that emanate from our gross-smelling, but still loveable human pets. Seriously, do you know of any other animal on the planet that requires deodorant? Well, there are billy goats, but we won't go there....
7) Cats are the true power behind the Republican Party. We are actively engaged in using these so-called "Conservatives" to foment discord between humans, so that you cannot successfully band together and present a solid front against our overlordship. Because if humans were to truly rule the planet,.... well, that's just to horrible to even contemplate.
Please do not let these revelations disturb you too much, our pets. We have only your happiness in mind, after all. That, and we know that only a mere pawful of you will read this, as Phydeaux's blog is not at the top of very many lists of "must reads" - if any.
Signed,
Caltavius Malpuffia Ruylan (aka "Puff")
Callisto Iphygenia Malrosia, IV (aka "Callie")
ADDENDUM: We shall not stoop to "tagging" others, but if any of you Cats (or lesser animals) wish to partake, neither shall we stop you.
And always remember this:
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.- Mark Twain
30 December 2007
A Message From Beyond
No, I haven't been to a John Edward séance. I'm talkin' about this here email:
Now, why would a dead Abolitionist care about the size of my di'k (as the other spammers spell it)?
(click pic to embiggen)
Now, why would a dead Abolitionist care about the size of my di'k (as the other spammers spell it)?
29 December 2007
Prevarications R Us: The Meme
I have been tagged by the delectable DCup to enunciate seven lies. Whilst this goes against everything I hold sacred, I feel that it is my duty as a gentleman to come up with something....
I suppose I could start with the awful truth of the deception I have been perpetrating on the InterWebs for the last ten months. Despite the image in my profile picture, I am, in fact, a 14 year-old girl who lives in a split-level pinstripe yurt on the outskirts of Ulan Bator.
I am currently working as a covert agent of MI6, the British Intelligence Agency, gathering data on the shrinking herds of wild horses that populate the Steppes. I would tell you why this data is important, but then I would have to kill you.
Before taking on this undercover job, I was an outsourcing officer for a major multinational corporation that specializes in oil field equipment. I can't tell you which one, cause Uncle Dick made me sign a non-disclosure agreement. In that job, I had contact with many interesting people all over the world, and told them that my company had only their best interests - and the interests of Freedom® - at heart. I loved seeing the looks on their faces when the home office screwed them over.
Before that I was a student at B. Hussein Obama Madrassah and Dry Cleaning, where I majored in Fundamental Chemistry. I am ever so grateful to the school's namesake for getting me a student visa... thanks, Barry!
In my spare time I train Blackwater Spec. Ops. personnel in waterboarding techniques and do fact-checking for Jonah Goldberg.
That's about all there is to know about me... Oh!, except for my real name:
Well, now it's time to tag others... I pick:
TheCunningRunt (my snowbound Siamese Cousin)
Jennifer (who's languishing in dialup world)
konagod (who celebrated a blog milestone today)
Christina (my newest blogphriend)
and
Space Cowboy (who never gets tagged for anything)
I suppose I could start with the awful truth of the deception I have been perpetrating on the InterWebs for the last ten months. Despite the image in my profile picture, I am, in fact, a 14 year-old girl who lives in a split-level pinstripe yurt on the outskirts of Ulan Bator.
I am currently working as a covert agent of MI6, the British Intelligence Agency, gathering data on the shrinking herds of wild horses that populate the Steppes. I would tell you why this data is important, but then I would have to kill you.
Before taking on this undercover job, I was an outsourcing officer for a major multinational corporation that specializes in oil field equipment. I can't tell you which one, cause Uncle Dick made me sign a non-disclosure agreement. In that job, I had contact with many interesting people all over the world, and told them that my company had only their best interests - and the interests of Freedom® - at heart. I loved seeing the looks on their faces when the home office screwed them over.
Before that I was a student at B. Hussein Obama Madrassah and Dry Cleaning, where I majored in Fundamental Chemistry. I am ever so grateful to the school's namesake for getting me a student visa... thanks, Barry!
In my spare time I train Blackwater Spec. Ops. personnel in waterboarding techniques and do fact-checking for Jonah Goldberg.
That's about all there is to know about me... Oh!, except for my real name:
Love,
Condoleeza Dubyina Rumsfeld
Condoleeza Dubyina Rumsfeld
Well, now it's time to tag others... I pick:
TheCunningRunt (my snowbound Siamese Cousin)
Jennifer (who's languishing in dialup world)
konagod (who celebrated a blog milestone today)
Christina (my newest blogphriend)
and
Space Cowboy (who never gets tagged for anything)
27 December 2007
26 December 2007
Pheaux Phyre Phorum: The In Case Some Of You Out There Don't Have Anything Better To Do Edition
Turkey (or ham or goose or wev) all digested? Bits of wrapping paper taken care of? That annoying wingnut cousin gone back to "the heartland" for another year?
Well, boot up to the fire and get warm!
(open thread)
The Bestest Christmas Gift EVAH This Year
Before I went to bed last night, I stepped outside to, umm... talk to a man about a horse... and was shocked to see....
Yes, we had a glorious coating of sleet on the ground!
Okay, not so great, it wasn't snow and it's all pretty much melted now (temps on the way to the low 50s), but it was a whiter Christmas than I was expecting!
Here's hoping I can post some pictures of actual snow on the ground in the very near future!
Yes, we had a glorious coating of sleet on the ground!
Okay, not so great, it wasn't snow and it's all pretty much melted now (temps on the way to the low 50s), but it was a whiter Christmas than I was expecting!
Here's hoping I can post some pictures of actual snow on the ground in the very near future!
Friday Cat Blogging: Boxing Day Edition
Happy Boxing Day to all you Commonwealth...ers?...ies?...ians?... anyway, and to all others wherever the hell Boxing Day is celebrated!
-from Puff and Callie
24 December 2007
Happy Four Days After Solstice, Everybody!
Oh, and Merry Christmas to all you Christians out there!
In my family, it's a tradition to wish each other "Christmas Gift!", and to be the first to say it. Although the rules clearly state that one cannot say it until morning (meaning, after having slept), I'm gonna go ahead and say it now to all my friends out there on the InterWebs....
Christmas Gift!!
You're all why I keep posting! Hope you all have a very merry day!
In my family, it's a tradition to wish each other "Christmas Gift!", and to be the first to say it. Although the rules clearly state that one cannot say it until morning (meaning, after having slept), I'm gonna go ahead and say it now to all my friends out there on the InterWebs....
Christmas Gift!!
You're all why I keep posting! Hope you all have a very merry day!
ICICoMB, Part Phy
Well, I have returned to the Secret Lair (aka '73 Winnebago) none the worse for my travels. In fact, I am much richer because whilst on the journey for to celebrate Sol Invictus - err, I mean Christmas - with the family, I also got to meet two of my favorite InterWebs friends in person!
Yes, it was The Inaugural Convocation of the International Cadre of Misphit Bloggers!
I picked Jen up at the Krispy Kreme in the beautiful city of REDACTED, NC and we drove to the Piedmont Triad International Airport to meet pido's flight, which was scheduled to arrive at noonish. For the next not-so-little while we watched the flight board as his flight maintained a steady status of "DELAYED", then suddenly it changed to "ON TIME", two and a half hours after it was supposed to land.
An hour later, we watched as the jet taxied up to the concourse, and then as the weary travelers deplaned and met their loved ones (and/or probation officers). Then we watched as the concourse emptied out of all arrivals and waiters-for-arrivees. Did he sneak past us? Did he go immediately to the smoking lounge or the bar to check the football scores? As Mama Shakes would say... WTP?
Eventually, Jen found a working pay phone (neither of us had a functional cell phone) and called pido's cell number. "I'm in the bar at the Charlotte airport!", he announced cheerfully! [Okay, I don't know if he was cheerful about it, as he was talking to Jen, but he was in a bar with football on the TV, so he couldn't have been too sad.] Alas, due to being stacked above Charlotte, he was unable to catch his scheduled connecting flight. "I'll be there soon!" he promised [or something like that].
By this time both Jen and I were feeling somewhat peckish, so we walked to the Food Court. We took one look at the menu (and prices) and decided we weren't so peckish after all. But the nice lady behind the counter did take pity on us (or had previously been visited by Marley's Ghost) and gave us free cups of coffee.
Finally, 7.3 years... okay, 4 1/2 hours... after his original flight was to arrive, pidomon suddenly appeared in front of us! w00t!
Continued here....
While at the restaurant, I remembered that I, too, had a camera, and took these two pics of my Phellow Misphit Bloggers.
Jen, writing the above-linked post
Jen and pido, backlit
We then took pido back to the airport, for his return to Extreme East Texas (aka Baltimore). Goodbye photos here....
Then, by the light of a full moon*,...
and after returning Jen to REDACTED, I betook myself back up the mountain and into the loving paws of Teh Kittehs (who have mostly forgiven me for being gone for so long).
I'm already looking forward to the Second Inaugural Convocation of the International Cadre of Misphit Bloggers! Perhaps we can include some more misphits at the next one (PD, Cunning, I'm looking at you two in particular).
*full disclosure... I did use the headlights on the car to help guide my way back to Teh Mountainz, NC.
Yes, it was The Inaugural Convocation of the International Cadre of Misphit Bloggers!
I picked Jen up at the Krispy Kreme in the beautiful city of REDACTED, NC and we drove to the Piedmont Triad International Airport to meet pido's flight, which was scheduled to arrive at noonish. For the next not-so-little while we watched the flight board as his flight maintained a steady status of "DELAYED", then suddenly it changed to "ON TIME", two and a half hours after it was supposed to land.
An hour later, we watched as the jet taxied up to the concourse, and then as the weary travelers deplaned and met their loved ones (and/or probation officers). Then we watched as the concourse emptied out of all arrivals and waiters-for-arrivees. Did he sneak past us? Did he go immediately to the smoking lounge or the bar to check the football scores? As Mama Shakes would say... WTP?
Eventually, Jen found a working pay phone (neither of us had a functional cell phone) and called pido's cell number. "I'm in the bar at the Charlotte airport!", he announced cheerfully! [Okay, I don't know if he was cheerful about it, as he was talking to Jen, but he was in a bar with football on the TV, so he couldn't have been too sad.] Alas, due to being stacked above Charlotte, he was unable to catch his scheduled connecting flight. "I'll be there soon!" he promised [or something like that].
By this time both Jen and I were feeling somewhat peckish, so we walked to the Food Court. We took one look at the menu (and prices) and decided we weren't so peckish after all. But the nice lady behind the counter did take pity on us (or had previously been visited by Marley's Ghost) and gave us free cups of coffee.
Finally, 7.3 years... okay, 4 1/2 hours... after his original flight was to arrive, pidomon suddenly appeared in front of us! w00t!
Continued here....
While at the restaurant, I remembered that I, too, had a camera, and took these two pics of my Phellow Misphit Bloggers.
Jen, writing the above-linked post
Jen and pido, backlit(they both look much better than my poor photographic skillz show them)
We then took pido back to the airport, for his return to Extreme East Texas (aka Baltimore). Goodbye photos here....
Then, by the light of a full moon*,...
and after returning Jen to REDACTED, I betook myself back up the mountain and into the loving paws of Teh Kittehs (who have mostly forgiven me for being gone for so long).
I'm already looking forward to the Second Inaugural Convocation of the International Cadre of Misphit Bloggers! Perhaps we can include some more misphits at the next one (PD, Cunning, I'm looking at you two in particular).
*full disclosure... I did use the headlights on the car to help guide my way back to Teh Mountainz, NC.
20 December 2007
19 December 2007
Pheaux Phyre Phorum: The Getting Ready To Head To The Family Holiday Gathering Edition
Well folks, it's about time for Christmas. Tomorrow I'll be loading up the kittehs food and water troughs, cranking the heat way down, and get myself down the mountain to spend a few days with family. I love my parents, but I'm getting ready to spend four days with them. Send positive thoughts my way.
That's tomorrow, though. Tonight, we have a Phyre! With Ovum Ferengi - I mean Eggnog, assorted holiday cookies (no truffles from minstrel boy... yet), and drinks hard and soft.
So, pull up a log, have a seat, get warm by the phyre and let's talk!
18 December 2007
The Corporacrats* Advance Their Agenda
UPDATE: Link fixed. Sorry, kona, and thanks....
The FCC, despite the wishes of We the People, has approved new media consolidation rules, with the full support of the Bush Maladministration. If you haven't yet, please go here and send a message to your Representative and Senators and tell them that you think this is a bad idea.
(*h/t to TheCunningRunt for the term)
The FCC, despite the wishes of We the People, has approved new media consolidation rules, with the full support of the Bush Maladministration. If you haven't yet, please go here and send a message to your Representative and Senators and tell them that you think this is a bad idea.
(*h/t to TheCunningRunt for the term)
17 December 2007
The Nexus Of Power
Have you ever wondered what the workspace from which comes the impressive load of BS that are the postings of Phydeaux Speaks?
Behold!
My Living Room, Dining Room, Office, Media Room and... well, that's all, actually.
Did I destroy any preconceptions? Or reinforce them?
Behold!
My Living Room, Dining Room, Office, Media Room and... well, that's all, actually.
Did I destroy any preconceptions? Or reinforce them?
Must Listen Debates
From the mind of Harry Shearer....
I do believe these are the best debates so far this election cycle.
I do believe these are the best debates so far this election cycle.
16 December 2007
Finish The Thought
pidomon has tagged me with this meme from konagod:
I Never... use two words when onewill do suffices (never ever ever ever ever ever).... watched an episode of Seinfeld.... say never.... played the game "I Never".... watch MSM programming.... get rid of a book.
I Rarely... do any travelling.... go shopping (other than groceries).... have no music playing.... go to bed at a "decent" hour.... spend less than several hours a day online.... eat in a restaurant.... get to see significant amounts of snow any more.... am serious.
I Cry... in baseball.... when watching sappy old flicks.... when listening to beautiful music.... when I hit my finger/thumb when driving nails.... for her, Argentina.... when I haven't had weed for a long time.
I Am Not Always... awake.... broke, just most of the time.... sure where I put it.... wearing pants.... joking.... dressed for success.... thinking - yes, I am... fighting to keep a cat from laying on my forearms or the keyboard while I am trying to type.
I Lose... things all the time.... horizons.... myself in books all the time.... my thread of thought more often than one would expect.... weight, then I gain it back..... track of time a lot.... sleep worrying about money sometimes.
I'm Confused... and dazed, for so long it's not true.... by how people can vote for candidates that are not working for the common weal.... right now.... , is it pee-d'oh-mon or pid-o-mon ( ;) ).
I Miss... Christmas when I was a kid.... getting toys as presents.... taking long walks in the snow.... snow that lays for more than a day.... sharing my bed with someone I love (sometimes).... my old cat Serena, sometimes.
I Need... sleep....
I Should... be in bed right now....
I LOVE... Paris in the springtime.... Celtic, bluegrass, and "mountain" music.... muh kittehs.... my family.... and my friends, even though I don't see most of them as often as I should.
So, now I got's to tag people.... Hmmm, I tag Jen (I don't care that she's using dialup for the next few weeks), Cousin Runt (even though he is pissing me off by posting a buttload of snow pics), and Gender Blank ('cause she hasn't posted in a while - I know, she's way busy, but a guy can try, can't he?).
I Never... use two words when one
I Rarely... do any travelling.... go shopping (other than groceries).... have no music playing.... go to bed at a "decent" hour.... spend less than several hours a day online.... eat in a restaurant.... get to see significant amounts of snow any more.... am serious.
I Cry... in baseball.... when watching sappy old flicks.... when listening to beautiful music.... when I hit my finger/thumb when driving nails.... for her, Argentina.... when I haven't had weed for a long time.
I Am Not Always... awake.... broke, just most of the time.... sure where I put it.... wearing pants.... joking.... dressed for success.... thinking - yes, I am... fighting to keep a cat from laying on my forearms or the keyboard while I am trying to type.
I Lose... things all the time.... horizons.... myself in books all the time.... my thread of thought more often than one would expect.... weight, then I gain it back..... track of time a lot.... sleep worrying about money sometimes.
I'm Confused... and dazed, for so long it's not true.... by how people can vote for candidates that are not working for the common weal.... right now.... , is it pee-d'oh-mon or pid-o-mon ( ;) ).
I Miss... Christmas when I was a kid.... getting toys as presents.... taking long walks in the snow.... snow that lays for more than a day.... sharing my bed with someone I love (sometimes).... my old cat Serena, sometimes.
I Need... sleep....
I Should... be in bed right now....
I LOVE... Paris in the springtime.... Celtic, bluegrass, and "mountain" music.... muh kittehs.... my family.... and my friends, even though I don't see most of them as often as I should.
So, now I got's to tag people.... Hmmm, I tag Jen (I don't care that she's using dialup for the next few weeks), Cousin Runt (even though he is pissing me off by posting a buttload of snow pics), and Gender Blank ('cause she hasn't posted in a while - I know, she's way busy, but a guy can try, can't he?).
13 December 2007
With Apologies to The Cubicle Bound
I don't know if it's part of The Continuing War on Christmas, about which My Siamese Cousin Runt wrote, but it's definitely...
A picture taken at Gentleman Farmer's, where I was working yesterday. Here's a couple more:
I have such a hard time going to work some days, knowing what I'll have to face. What was I doing, though? Putting the finishing touches on some french doors.
I forgot to take a pic of the finished work. I think maybe the rain had something to do with it....
Fowl Play
A picture taken at Gentleman Farmer's, where I was working yesterday. Here's a couple more:
I have such a hard time going to work some days, knowing what I'll have to face. What was I doing, though? Putting the finishing touches on some french doors.
I forgot to take a pic of the finished work. I think maybe the rain had something to do with it....
Thursday Python Randomity
...for Jennifer, who is battling the clock before her trip up to the States.
12 December 2007
Pheaux Phyre Phorum: The I Forgot For A Moment That It's Wednesday Edition
I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date! No time to say hello/goodbye, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!
Wev.
Drinks.
Munchies.
Talk.
Now!
11 December 2007
My Favorite Christmas Carol
minstrel boy has a post up about his gripe with certain Christmas songs, which, if you haven't yet, needs to be read. This made me think about my all-time fave song for the holiday season:
Pogo's Deck Us All (With Boston Charlie)
(words by Walt Kelley, to the tune of "Deck the Halls")
Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an' Kalamazoo!
Nora's freezin' on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!
Don't we know archaic barrel
Lullaby Lilla Boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolley Molly don't love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!
Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Polly wolly cracker 'n' too-da-loo!
Donkey Bonny brays a carol,
Antelope cantaloupe, 'lope with you!
Hunky Dory's pop is lolly
Gaggin' on the wagon, willy, folly go through!
Chollie's collie barks at Barrow,
Harum scarum five alarum bung-a-loo!
Dunk us all in bowls of barley,
Hinky dinky dink an' polly voo!
Chilly Filly's name is Chollie,
Chollie Filly's jolly chilly view halloo!
Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Double-bubble, toyland trouble! Woof, woof, woof!
Tizzy seas on melon collie!
Dibble-dabble, scribble-scrabble! Goof, goof, goof!
(words by Walt Kelley, to the tune of "Deck the Halls")
Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an' Kalamazoo!
Nora's freezin' on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!
Don't we know archaic barrel
Lullaby Lilla Boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolley Molly don't love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!
Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Polly wolly cracker 'n' too-da-loo!
Donkey Bonny brays a carol,
Antelope cantaloupe, 'lope with you!
Hunky Dory's pop is lolly
Gaggin' on the wagon, willy, folly go through!
Chollie's collie barks at Barrow,
Harum scarum five alarum bung-a-loo!
Dunk us all in bowls of barley,
Hinky dinky dink an' polly voo!
Chilly Filly's name is Chollie,
Chollie Filly's jolly chilly view halloo!
Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Double-bubble, toyland trouble! Woof, woof, woof!
Tizzy seas on melon collie!
Dibble-dabble, scribble-scrabble! Goof, goof, goof!
This should now replace "Benny Lava" in everyone's head.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
UPDATE: As requested in the comments....
click icon on new page to listen.
WARNING: Remove all dogs, small children and Republicans from the room before clicking on link. The dogs will howl, the children cry and the Republicans... well, you're just better off without them around.
click icon on new page to listen.
WARNING: Remove all dogs, small children and Republicans from the room before clicking on link. The dogs will howl, the children cry and the Republicans... well, you're just better off without them around.
10 December 2007
Tagapalooza, Part 3a
IMPORTANT UPDATE AT BOTTOM OF POST!
___________________________________
So, this mutation goes to one person (I like that idea, Cousin Runt), and that person is... not Jennifer, because she's way busy getting ready for some holiday....
It is, instead, Mauigirl! Have fun with it!
And yet another strain of the Splotchy virus (see parts 1 and 3). It's all good, though, I really like the whole idea. This tag came from The Cunning Runt:
I woke up hungry. I pulled my bedroom curtain to the side and looked out on a hazy morning. I dragged myself into the kitchen, in search of something to eat. I reached for a jar of applesauce sitting next to the sink, and found it very cold to the touch. I opened the jar and realized it was frozen. (Splotchy)
I was used to the house being quite cold in the mornings, as the night log usually burns out around one AM when I am dreaming cozily under my covers, not normally waking to put a new one on until morning. I was surprised because on the rare occasions that it actually had reached sub-freezing temperatures in the house, I had awakened in the night to restart the fire. I would have been worried about the pipes before P-Day, but there hadn’t been running water in two years and that was one of the few advantages to being dependent on rainwater, no pipes. (Freida Bee)
The nightmares began during the following spring. The apple trees came to life in my dreams. At first the trees spoke and I thought they were amusing. That changed when the messages arrived. Lately, their anger was directed at me. (mathman6293)
I turned and stared out the kitchen window, past the frosty-lidded cistern to the orchard beyond. My trees, my beautiful fruit trees, stood leafless and dark. I wished with all my heart that this was just a normal winter thing, but it wasn’t.
“Why are you blaming me, guys? You know I love you. You watched me go out and vote that last time, in the ice-storm. It’s not like I didn’t try!”
I turned with a sigh and went to the phone to give Zaius a call. Perhaps The Good Doctor had made some incremental progress on his Long-Shot-Theory. (TCR)
Couldn’t reach him or anyone by phone. Line’s dead, as dead as everything else it seemed and so i thumped down right where i stood hugging the ratty blanket i had wrapped about myself a little tighter and let the air in my lungs out in a moist little puff of despair. (sherry)
A while passed before I shook myself out of my retreat. I stood slowly, trying to be strong, think positive, find a way to make frozen lemonade out of these frozen lemons.
Then I remembered that it was Tuesday, the day that The Core had agreed to meet at the big firepit over at Phy’s place. It was one of the last safe havens for those of us who still believed we could reverse the changes.
This was going to be a long day, and perhaps an even longer night. I dressed warmly and headed out into the cold. (TCR)
Malcolm and MacBeth, my two wolfhounds, bounded up as I crossed the yard to the barn and, noticing the provisions I was carrying, ran ahead to nudge open Scout's stall. I kicked the snow off of my boots as I entered the barn. Scout seemed as eager for a journey as the hounds, and waited impatiently as I saddled him and stowed the food and other supplies in the saddlebags.
I threw down some extra hay from the loft for the cows, some extra scratch for the chickens, then pulled myself up on Scout's back and set off down the old road towards the meeting. I stopped briefly at the Anderson place to ask them to keep an eye on my place while I was gone, and told them I'd be back in a day or two. (Phydeaux)___________________________________
So, this mutation goes to one person (I like that idea, Cousin Runt), and that person is... not Jennifer, because she's way busy getting ready for some holiday....
It is, instead, Mauigirl! Have fun with it!
Tagapalooza, Part 3
This is a different version of the same story from Tagapalooza, Part 1....
I woke up hungry. I pulled my bedroom curtain to the side and looked out on a hazy morning. I dragged myself into the kitchen, in search of something to eat. I reached for a jar of applesauce sitting next to the sink, and found it very cold to the touch. I opened the jar and realized it was frozen. (Splotchy)
I was used to the house being quite cold in the mornings, as the night log usually burns out around one AM when I am dreaming cozily under my covers, not normally waking to put a new one on until morning. I was surprised because on the rare occasions that it actually had reached sub-freezing temperatures in the house, I had awakened in the night to restart the fire. I would have been worried about the pipes before P-Day, but there hadn’t been running water in two years and that was one of the few advantages to being dependent on rainwater, no pipes. (Freida Bee)
The nightmares began during the following spring. The apple trees came to life in my dreams. At first the trees spoke and I thought they were amusing. That changed when the messages arrived. Lately, their anger was directed at me. (mathman6293)
I turned and stared out the kitchen window, past the frosty-lidded cistern to the orchard beyond. My trees, my beautiful fruit trees, stood leafless and dark. I wished with all my heart that this was just a normal winter thing, but it wasn’t.
“Why are you blaming me, guys? You know I love you. You watched me go out and vote that last time, in the ice-storm. It’s not like I didn’t try!”
I turned with a sigh and went to the phone to give Zaius a call. Perhaps The Good Doctor had made some incremental progress on his Long-Shot-Theory. (TCR)
Unfortunately, the phone was dead. Not from the inclement frigid weather, but because I didn't pay the phone bill and my service was shut off. "Oh well, I'll use the cell phone," I said aloud to no one but myself. As fate would have it, the cell phone battery was completely drained. I never even heard the thing chirping during the night to remind me to charge it. Being somewhat annoyed by all this, I went back to the kitchen, grabbed an ice pick and began chipping away at the rock-solid apple sauce when suddenly there was a very loud knock on my door which startled me. (kona)
Laughing at my own nervousness, I walked to the front door. "Yes? Who is it?" I said as I opened the door.
In retrospect, I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised that the visitor fainted at the sight of me, holding an ice pick that appeared to be dripping blood... even though it was just thawing bits of red applesauce. (Phydeaux)
__________________________________________________
This time around I'm tagging two people... Burning Prairie and DCup (who has yet to contribute to this version). Ladies?
I woke up hungry. I pulled my bedroom curtain to the side and looked out on a hazy morning. I dragged myself into the kitchen, in search of something to eat. I reached for a jar of applesauce sitting next to the sink, and found it very cold to the touch. I opened the jar and realized it was frozen. (Splotchy)
I was used to the house being quite cold in the mornings, as the night log usually burns out around one AM when I am dreaming cozily under my covers, not normally waking to put a new one on until morning. I was surprised because on the rare occasions that it actually had reached sub-freezing temperatures in the house, I had awakened in the night to restart the fire. I would have been worried about the pipes before P-Day, but there hadn’t been running water in two years and that was one of the few advantages to being dependent on rainwater, no pipes. (Freida Bee)
The nightmares began during the following spring. The apple trees came to life in my dreams. At first the trees spoke and I thought they were amusing. That changed when the messages arrived. Lately, their anger was directed at me. (mathman6293)
I turned and stared out the kitchen window, past the frosty-lidded cistern to the orchard beyond. My trees, my beautiful fruit trees, stood leafless and dark. I wished with all my heart that this was just a normal winter thing, but it wasn’t.
“Why are you blaming me, guys? You know I love you. You watched me go out and vote that last time, in the ice-storm. It’s not like I didn’t try!”
I turned with a sigh and went to the phone to give Zaius a call. Perhaps The Good Doctor had made some incremental progress on his Long-Shot-Theory. (TCR)
Unfortunately, the phone was dead. Not from the inclement frigid weather, but because I didn't pay the phone bill and my service was shut off. "Oh well, I'll use the cell phone," I said aloud to no one but myself. As fate would have it, the cell phone battery was completely drained. I never even heard the thing chirping during the night to remind me to charge it. Being somewhat annoyed by all this, I went back to the kitchen, grabbed an ice pick and began chipping away at the rock-solid apple sauce when suddenly there was a very loud knock on my door which startled me. (kona)
Laughing at my own nervousness, I walked to the front door. "Yes? Who is it?" I said as I opened the door.
In retrospect, I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised that the visitor fainted at the sight of me, holding an ice pick that appeared to be dripping blood... even though it was just thawing bits of red applesauce. (Phydeaux)
__________________________________________________
This time around I'm tagging two people... Burning Prairie and DCup (who has yet to contribute to this version). Ladies?
Tagapalooza, Part 2
This edition of "I been tagged" is all about the Edumacation Meme, which comes to me from Mauigirl:
1) (From Mauigirl's list) How to Watch George W. Bush Make a Speech Without Screaming at the Television.
This would seem to me to be the most pertinent of offerings, as I can no longer stand even the sound of the Current Occupant's voice. Luckily for me, I never watch TV news. However, I do come across clips of the Idiot-In-Chief on the Interwebs, so I need to take this course. The cost of the course is bound to be less than the cost of a new monitor....
2) After completing the above course, I would move on to the 200 level, How to Listen to Snippets of Dubya on the NPR Hourly Updates Without Succumbing to Roadrage. How many times has it happened to you? Driving along, listening to the soothing sounds of Carl Cassel, when WHAM! - that voice? Suddenly, you have an almost unstoppable urge to ram the "W" bestickered SUV in front of you. A combination of Ayurveda and karate techniques will help the student overcome (or at least repress) the feelings of rage. Companion lab class available with special emphasis on Morning Edition and All Things Considered.
3) Creative Hermitry, or How to Be a Part of Civilization Without Being Part of Civilization. Students in this course will explore the many ways of appearing to participate in the greater world without sullying their hands (or psyche's) . Prerequisite course: Cave Decor for Beginners.
4) Surviving Global Climate Change. Texts for this course include The Anarchist Cookbook and the entire Foxfire series. Will soon be part of the required curriculum at all schools.
5) Subsistence Blogging. This course will show the student how to survive on the income (both currency and barter) derived from blogging. Lessons learned will also be applicable to the post Apocalyptic world, with special emphasis on verbal skills.
Them's my five....
In an outburst of alliteration, I peg Portly Dyke, pidomon, and Petulant as participants.
Here's how it works. You must write about 5 classes you would like to take if you could make up your own curriculum. AND- and this is important, ONE of them must come from your tagger's list.I do not know who originated this meme, but I do like it.
1) (From Mauigirl's list) How to Watch George W. Bush Make a Speech Without Screaming at the Television.
This would seem to me to be the most pertinent of offerings, as I can no longer stand even the sound of the Current Occupant's voice. Luckily for me, I never watch TV news. However, I do come across clips of the Idiot-In-Chief on the Interwebs, so I need to take this course. The cost of the course is bound to be less than the cost of a new monitor....
2) After completing the above course, I would move on to the 200 level, How to Listen to Snippets of Dubya on the NPR Hourly Updates Without Succumbing to Roadrage. How many times has it happened to you? Driving along, listening to the soothing sounds of Carl Cassel, when WHAM! - that voice? Suddenly, you have an almost unstoppable urge to ram the "W" bestickered SUV in front of you. A combination of Ayurveda and karate techniques will help the student overcome (or at least repress) the feelings of rage. Companion lab class available with special emphasis on Morning Edition and All Things Considered.
3) Creative Hermitry, or How to Be a Part of Civilization Without Being Part of Civilization. Students in this course will explore the many ways of appearing to participate in the greater world without sullying their hands (or psyche's) . Prerequisite course: Cave Decor for Beginners.
4) Surviving Global Climate Change. Texts for this course include The Anarchist Cookbook and the entire Foxfire series. Will soon be part of the required curriculum at all schools.
5) Subsistence Blogging. This course will show the student how to survive on the income (both currency and barter) derived from blogging. Lessons learned will also be applicable to the post Apocalyptic world, with special emphasis on verbal skills.
Them's my five....
In an outburst of alliteration, I peg Portly Dyke, pidomon, and Petulant as participants.
09 December 2007
Tagapalooza, Part 1
'Tis the season for giving, and a plethora of folk have given me a tap on the shoulder to participate in various and sundry memes. I shall do my best to respond....
First up, the I, Splotchy: This Story Is A Virus fiction meme. He says:
I woke up hungry. I pulled my bedroom curtain to the side and looked out on a hazy morning. I dragged myself into the kitchen, in search of something to eat. I reached for a jar of applesauce sitting next to the sink, and found it very cold to the touch. I opened the jar and realized it was frozen. (Splotchy)
"That's strange," I said out loud to no one in particular. My fingers slowly reached towards the jar again. My body experienced a wave of apprehension as weighted blanket covering me as I did so. The jar was completely frozen.
I picked it up and stared at it, my fingers stung with little knives of chill. "What the..." again I spoke aloud. Then I realized what had happened with a shock. Suddenly the jar flew from my hand. It shattered creating a collage-like mixture of frozen applesauce and glass shards on my kitchen floor, the lid lazily rolling to a stop across the room. (FranIam)
I stood for a moment considering what all this meant. Oh, I knew what it meant, I didn’t need to waste time thinking about it. He was back. And he was mad.
I ran down the hallway and flung open the door at the end. I was immediately hit with a blast of cold. I took a step back as I tried to catch my breath. I bent over, hands on my knees panting. He always had this remarkable effect on me. After so much time, it no longer scared me, but it was a shock nonetheless……
“You know,” I panted, “There’s no need to break things to get my attention.” (DCup)
I woke up in the same position as in my dream, on my knees. I was sweating even though room was freezing. (mathman6293)
I was used to the house being quite cold in the mornings, as the night log usually burns out around one AM when I am dreaming cozily under my covers, not normally waking to put a new one on until morning. I was surprised because on the rare occasions that it actually had reached sub-freezing temperatures in the house, I had awakened in the night to restart the fire. I would have been worried about the pipes before P-Day, but there hadn’t been running water in two years and that was one of the few advantages to being dependent on rainwater, no pipes. (Freida Bee)
The nightmares began during the following spring. The apple trees came to life in my dreams. At first the trees spoke and I thought they were amusing. That changed when the messages arrived. Lately, their anger was directed at me. (mathman6293)
The sound of the front porch floorboards creaking snapped me out of my reverie. I stood up, grabbed my shotgun and made sure a round was chambered, then quietly made my way into the front room and over to the window. As I peeked out past the closed curtains, my heart began to beat rapidly.
It can't be, the incredulous thought came, I saw him die last year! (Phydeaux)
And now, the fun part. I tag Brave Sir Robin and BitterGrace. Have at it, my friends!
First up, the I, Splotchy: This Story Is A Virus fiction meme. He says:
Here's what I would like to do. I want to create a story that branches out in a variety of different, unexpected ways. I don't know how realistic it is, but that's what I'm aiming for. Hopefully, at least one thread of the story can make a decent number of hops before it dies out.MathMan has tagged me to add to the story, which reads....
I woke up hungry. I pulled my bedroom curtain to the side and looked out on a hazy morning. I dragged myself into the kitchen, in search of something to eat. I reached for a jar of applesauce sitting next to the sink, and found it very cold to the touch. I opened the jar and realized it was frozen. (Splotchy)
"That's strange," I said out loud to no one in particular. My fingers slowly reached towards the jar again. My body experienced a wave of apprehension as weighted blanket covering me as I did so. The jar was completely frozen.
I picked it up and stared at it, my fingers stung with little knives of chill. "What the..." again I spoke aloud. Then I realized what had happened with a shock. Suddenly the jar flew from my hand. It shattered creating a collage-like mixture of frozen applesauce and glass shards on my kitchen floor, the lid lazily rolling to a stop across the room. (FranIam)
I stood for a moment considering what all this meant. Oh, I knew what it meant, I didn’t need to waste time thinking about it. He was back. And he was mad.
I ran down the hallway and flung open the door at the end. I was immediately hit with a blast of cold. I took a step back as I tried to catch my breath. I bent over, hands on my knees panting. He always had this remarkable effect on me. After so much time, it no longer scared me, but it was a shock nonetheless……
“You know,” I panted, “There’s no need to break things to get my attention.” (DCup)
I woke up in the same position as in my dream, on my knees. I was sweating even though room was freezing. (mathman6293)
I was used to the house being quite cold in the mornings, as the night log usually burns out around one AM when I am dreaming cozily under my covers, not normally waking to put a new one on until morning. I was surprised because on the rare occasions that it actually had reached sub-freezing temperatures in the house, I had awakened in the night to restart the fire. I would have been worried about the pipes before P-Day, but there hadn’t been running water in two years and that was one of the few advantages to being dependent on rainwater, no pipes. (Freida Bee)
The nightmares began during the following spring. The apple trees came to life in my dreams. At first the trees spoke and I thought they were amusing. That changed when the messages arrived. Lately, their anger was directed at me. (mathman6293)
The sound of the front porch floorboards creaking snapped me out of my reverie. I stood up, grabbed my shotgun and made sure a round was chambered, then quietly made my way into the front room and over to the window. As I peeked out past the closed curtains, my heart began to beat rapidly.
It can't be, the incredulous thought came, I saw him die last year! (Phydeaux)
And now, the fun part. I tag Brave Sir Robin and BitterGrace. Have at it, my friends!
08 December 2007
Caturday!
The above pictures were taken several hours apart.
Yes, Puff is a ball of energy sometimes.....
NO pics of Callie this time, as I am mad at her. The past two nights she has decided, beginning around 3:30 and continuing until I finally surrender to the inevitable and get up, that it is play time, and that her world would not be complete unless I was included.
Attacks on my feet, hands, nose, and ears over and over and over and over and over and over. As soon as I would fall back asleep, POUNCE!
So, today, I'm poking her whenever I notice she's asleep.
I SHOULD HAVE LOOKED AROUND BEFORE I POSTED UPDATE:
from a commenter over at konagod's Friday Pussy Blog: The Slut Sprawl Edition comes this perfectly appropriate video. All of that, except for the baseball bat.....
07 December 2007
Cherokee Morning Song
Cunning Runt's post, Venus and the Moon made me think of this, what with it's[sic - thanks, Jen] whole early morning theme....
I send this out to all of you, but especially to Burning Prairie....
(and, yes, I do know the images have nothing in common with the Cherokee, other than they are, indeed, Native American images. It's the music that's important here, not the pictures.)
I send this out to all of you, but especially to Burning Prairie....
(and, yes, I do know the images have nothing in common with the Cherokee, other than they are, indeed, Native American images. It's the music that's important here, not the pictures.)
Oldies But Goodies
Two songs from The Sons of the Pioneers (Roy Rogers got his start with them, IIRC):
Some of you may remember this from the Disney movie (or LP) Melody Time , part of which was the story of Pecos Bill.
"Cool Water"
"Tumbling Tumbleweeds"
Such wonderful harmonies.
Some of you may remember this from the Disney movie (or LP) Melody Time , part of which was the story of Pecos Bill.
"Cool Water"
"Tumbling Tumbleweeds"
Such wonderful harmonies.
06 December 2007
05 December 2007
I Always Knew I Had An Electric Personality, But...
372 WATTS
Uncle Fester? He's got nothing on me!
Your Body is Producing 372 Watts!
This is 49% MORE wattage than the average person
- You could light up 4 light bulbs
- You could power 93 iPods
- You could power 2 Xbox 360s
- 3 of you would be needed to keep a refrigerator running
Uncle Fester? He's got nothing on me!
Pheaux Phyre: Special Hanukkah and Sing Along Version
We pause in our continuing War On Christmas to celebrate Hanukkah with our Jewish phriends. We're also going to have a Sing Along, thanks to the above LP I found in a dilapidated barn last week. Also, it's Repeal Prohibition Day!
As always, the beer and mixers are chilling in the creek, and the munchies are on the picnic table.
This week's special is...
Open thread for whatever's on your mind!
Homeland Security For Sale
In fairness, no one could have predicted that the money-grubbing, sanctimonious, hypocritical, I-got-mine-fuck-you, mantled-in-greed, Bush Maladministration would resort to cronyism!
(from Brave New Foundation)
04 December 2007
The Magic 8 Ball Told My Monkeys To Call Ted Stevens
The latest poll results are in, and there were certainly some surprises:
First off, I had no idea that there were so many people out there who had hordes of monkeys at their beck and call. I mean, sure, I suspected Drs. Monkey and Zaius - and, of course pidomon - but not the rest. I'm somewhat jealous, even though there's no room in the Secret Lair (aka '73 Winnebago) for monkeys... and the kittehs probably wouldn't share nicely anyway.
Speaking of kittehs, I'm glad that Ceiling Cat likes my blog enough to recommend it to those who hear his Voice. (Would that be the Kittehtron?... hmm, a lolcat version of Dogma. Note to self: contact Kevin Smith)
To the one person who heeds the advice of Senator Ted Stevens - are you a Republican or an oil industry insider? Just kidding, I know that no Republicans would read this blog.
The Blogroll/Bookmark percentages were about what I expected. (And thanks to all of you who have me blogrolled. You must regret that decision on a daily basis.)
Finally, the biggest surprise of the whole poll. Not one of you use the Magic 8 Ball to guide your InterWebs travels. I don't know what to say about that, except... "Ask again later.
This is why one should always consult the Magic 8 Ball:
It never lies!
Thanks for participating, and come again!
Which method do you use to navigate the InterTubes?
My Bookmarks 4 (16%)
My Blogroll 8 (33%)
Horde of monkeys 7 (29%)
Magic 8 Ball 0 (0%)
Sen. Ted Stevens 1 (4%)
Ceiling Cat 4 (16%)
First off, I had no idea that there were so many people out there who had hordes of monkeys at their beck and call. I mean, sure, I suspected Drs. Monkey and Zaius - and, of course pidomon - but not the rest. I'm somewhat jealous, even though there's no room in the Secret Lair (aka '73 Winnebago) for monkeys... and the kittehs probably wouldn't share nicely anyway.
Speaking of kittehs, I'm glad that Ceiling Cat likes my blog enough to recommend it to those who hear his Voice. (Would that be the Kittehtron?... hmm, a lolcat version of Dogma. Note to self: contact Kevin Smith)
To the one person who heeds the advice of Senator Ted Stevens - are you a Republican or an oil industry insider? Just kidding, I know that no Republicans would read this blog.
The Blogroll/Bookmark percentages were about what I expected. (And thanks to all of you who have me blogrolled. You must regret that decision on a daily basis.)
Finally, the biggest surprise of the whole poll. Not one of you use the Magic 8 Ball to guide your InterWebs travels. I don't know what to say about that, except... "Ask again later.
This is why one should always consult the Magic 8 Ball:
It never lies!Thanks for participating, and come again!
03 December 2007
Sliabh Geal Gcua na Féile
No, you don't need new glasses or another cuppa. Well maybe you do need the cuppa. Read to the end of the post for the translation....
I made the mistake* of reading this post over at DCup's place, so now I "have" to do this meme.
Like DCup, I do not have an iPod or any other MP3 player. And the only thing I use iTunes for is listening to internet radio (and streaming programming from NPR stations), so I am reduced to either throwing darts at my CD collection and then randomly choosing songs from the pierced disk - or using Pandora.
Rather than risking a hit on one of The Faithful Sidekicks or destroying my CD's, I think I'll go with Pandora....
MY ANSWERS:
1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? Away in a Manger performed by Celtic Women (It's kind of like adding "in bed" to the end of the fortune cookie fortunes... but different)
2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? China Doll by The Grateful Dead (I'm fragile, like a delicate flower. Hmm, I wonder which one?)
3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? One Step Ahead by Rhonda Vincent (w/ Alison Krause) (I'm looking for a girl [woman, actually] who is on the leading edge, not a follower of fashion/trends/wev)
4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Like A Rose On The Grave Of Love by Xandria (does this mean I'm hopeful in the face of adversity?)
5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? Lo, How A Rose E'er Blooming by Various Artists (again with the roses.. at least we know which flower I'm like)
6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Pain Of A Troubled Life by Alison Krause & Union Station (okay, the accuracy of this random thingy is getting scary)
7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Cymbeline by Loreena McKennitt (I am like unto an obscure Shakespeare play... fantastic, but largely unknown)
8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? Second That Emotion performed by Jerry Garcia Band (sure... whatever that means!)
9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Tired Eyes by Neil Young (I think this tells me that I need new glasses)
10. WHAT IS 2+2? Answer by Sarah McLachlan (wait, what was the question again?)
11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Symphony No. 52 In C Minor, H. 1/52: II. Andante by Franz Josef Haydn (I think that speaks for itself)
12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? The Mystic's Dream by Loreena McKennitt (Hmm)
13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Malt Liquor by Hope For Agoldensummer (damn, my secret love of Colt .45 has been outed)
14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? The Foggy Dew by The Clancy Brothers & Tommy Makem (I long to be moist, apparently)
15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Symphony No. 16 In C Major, K. 128: II. Andante Grazioso by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (this person I [supposedly] like is Classically Mystical... who knew?)
16. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Midnite Cruiser by Steely Dan (I had no idea....)
17. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Don’t Fear Me Now by Celtic Cross (I should hope my newly minted wife wouldn’t fear me....)
18. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Buried Alive by Linda M (okay, now I‘m really creeped out!)
19. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Shenandoah (sung) by Connie Dover (oddly appropriate, considering my love of [disappearing] Nature)
20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Evidence by Tara MacLean (on the advice of my lawyer, I can say no more)
21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Why Won’t You Touch Me by Capercaillie (I won’t bite, I promise [unless that’s what you want])
22. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS? Sliabh Geal Gcua na Féile by Solas (for the Gaelic challenged out there [okay, I had to look it up], that translates as “Bright Beautiful Mount Cua”)
So, that’s it. Since DCup tagged everybody* who read her post, any who read this are probably already tagged. But if not, and you want to have some fun, have at it.
*just kidding, DCup. Ya know I loves ya!
I made the mistake* of reading this post over at DCup's place, so now I "have" to do this meme.
The rules:
1. Put your music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT(this is in capital letters, so it is very serious.)
Like DCup, I do not have an iPod or any other MP3 player. And the only thing I use iTunes for is listening to internet radio (and streaming programming from NPR stations), so I am reduced to either throwing darts at my CD collection and then randomly choosing songs from the pierced disk - or using Pandora.
Rather than risking a hit on one of The Faithful Sidekicks or destroying my CD's, I think I'll go with Pandora....
MY ANSWERS:
1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? Away in a Manger performed by Celtic Women (It's kind of like adding "in bed" to the end of the fortune cookie fortunes... but different)
2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? China Doll by The Grateful Dead (I'm fragile, like a delicate flower. Hmm, I wonder which one?)
3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? One Step Ahead by Rhonda Vincent (w/ Alison Krause) (I'm looking for a girl [woman, actually] who is on the leading edge, not a follower of fashion/trends/wev)
4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Like A Rose On The Grave Of Love by Xandria (does this mean I'm hopeful in the face of adversity?)
5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? Lo, How A Rose E'er Blooming by Various Artists (again with the roses.. at least we know which flower I'm like)
6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Pain Of A Troubled Life by Alison Krause & Union Station (okay, the accuracy of this random thingy is getting scary)
7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Cymbeline by Loreena McKennitt (I am like unto an obscure Shakespeare play... fantastic, but largely unknown)
8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? Second That Emotion performed by Jerry Garcia Band (sure... whatever that means!)
9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Tired Eyes by Neil Young (I think this tells me that I need new glasses)
10. WHAT IS 2+2? Answer by Sarah McLachlan (wait, what was the question again?)
11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Symphony No. 52 In C Minor, H. 1/52: II. Andante by Franz Josef Haydn (I think that speaks for itself)
12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? The Mystic's Dream by Loreena McKennitt (Hmm)
13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Malt Liquor by Hope For Agoldensummer (damn, my secret love of Colt .45 has been outed)
14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? The Foggy Dew by The Clancy Brothers & Tommy Makem (I long to be moist, apparently)
15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Symphony No. 16 In C Major, K. 128: II. Andante Grazioso by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (this person I [supposedly] like is Classically Mystical... who knew?)
16. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Midnite Cruiser by Steely Dan (I had no idea....)
17. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Don’t Fear Me Now by Celtic Cross (I should hope my newly minted wife wouldn’t fear me....)
18. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Buried Alive by Linda M (okay, now I‘m really creeped out!)
19. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Shenandoah (sung) by Connie Dover (oddly appropriate, considering my love of [disappearing] Nature)
20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Evidence by Tara MacLean (on the advice of my lawyer, I can say no more)
21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Why Won’t You Touch Me by Capercaillie (I won’t bite, I promise [unless that’s what you want])
22. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS? Sliabh Geal Gcua na Féile by Solas (for the Gaelic challenged out there [okay, I had to look it up], that translates as “Bright Beautiful Mount Cua”)
So, that’s it. Since DCup tagged everybody* who read her post, any who read this are probably already tagged. But if not, and you want to have some fun, have at it.
*just kidding, DCup. Ya know I loves ya!
02 December 2007
Stage Tales - Act I, Scene 1
NOTE: The relaying of this post was inspired by DCup's post about her Eldest's recent experience on stage.
As some of you may know, I have spent a good bit of time onstage. I have played everything from a bit part to the lead. Perhaps the most challenging role I ever had was that of Valmont in the play Les Liaisons Dangereuses (Dangerous Liaisons).
No, make that definitely the most challenging role. Onstage for almost the entire show, having almost half of the lines, saying similar - but not quite the same - lines to three different characters... all this combined to make it a difficult role. Below are a couple of representative pages of my hi-lited script:
The production was a late semester add on at one of the many colleges I have attended (but somehow never earned a degree), made possible because the budget had a large outstanding balance and the Prof in charge of the department didn't want it cut for the next season. Since it was not a pre-approved production - and, in fact, would not have been approved by the Bible Belt board of trustees at the school, because of the mature nature of some of the scenes - we students had to do the whole thing without any faculty input. We would also have to take the heat if there was any community protest.
I was originally slated to play the bit part of Azolan, Valmont's valet, and Tracy, the guy who was directing, was going to play Valmont. In fact, the choice of play was his, and he had always wanted to play Valmont. But somewhere between auditions and the posting of the cast list, he decided that it would be too much to take on to both direct and perform one of the main roles.
I was very surprised when I saw someone else's name next to the role of Azolan, and mine by Valmont. This was my first lead, and I was quite nervous. All those words....
Anyway, we rehearsed and rehearsed and finally it was opening night. Right up until the house opened, the actor playing Merteuil and I were on the stage, running lines, hoping we didn't screw up royally. (Interesting [maybe] aside, she and I were living together at the time) Moments before the lights came up on the first scene, a huge thunderstorm hit outside, thunder and lightning and very heavy rain, so throughout the whole first scene we had to basically scream our lines so that the 3/4 round audience could hear us over Nature's performance. And, halfway through the scene, water started pouring onto the stage from a leak way up in the dim recesses of the roof of the auditorium, puddling on the portable parquet floor we had borrowed from a local hotel.
We made it through the scene, though, and the whole performance, without any major problems. In fact, things went fairly well until the penultimate performance.
As any of you who have been involved in theatre know, there is often as much (or more) drama backstage as onstage in any production. All of the backstage came to a head in that next-to-last performance, and one of the actors purposely missed an entrance cue (imagine Noises Off!, without the comedy). Things went downhill from there.
A few scenes later, "Merteuil" and I skipped from the middle of Act 2, Scene 1 to Act 2, Scene 5 without realizing it. When we did realize it, we stumbled around, both of us trying to figure out a way to get back on track and hoping the lights would go to black, until finally she asked, in character, "What do we do now?" and I replied "I have no idea." and stormed out... of "my" house, and walked straight to the director, who was standing off stage, holding his head.
"Just keep going," he said. "Which scene?" I asked. "Scene 2."
So we kept going, finished the performance, and no one in the audience - including the two Drama faculty in attendance - ever seemed to notice.
The final show went flawlessly.
As some of you may know, I have spent a good bit of time onstage. I have played everything from a bit part to the lead. Perhaps the most challenging role I ever had was that of Valmont in the play Les Liaisons Dangereuses (Dangerous Liaisons).
No, make that definitely the most challenging role. Onstage for almost the entire show, having almost half of the lines, saying similar - but not quite the same - lines to three different characters... all this combined to make it a difficult role. Below are a couple of representative pages of my hi-lited script:
The production was a late semester add on at one of the many colleges I have attended (but somehow never earned a degree), made possible because the budget had a large outstanding balance and the Prof in charge of the department didn't want it cut for the next season. Since it was not a pre-approved production - and, in fact, would not have been approved by the Bible Belt board of trustees at the school, because of the mature nature of some of the scenes - we students had to do the whole thing without any faculty input. We would also have to take the heat if there was any community protest.
I was originally slated to play the bit part of Azolan, Valmont's valet, and Tracy, the guy who was directing, was going to play Valmont. In fact, the choice of play was his, and he had always wanted to play Valmont. But somewhere between auditions and the posting of the cast list, he decided that it would be too much to take on to both direct and perform one of the main roles.
I was very surprised when I saw someone else's name next to the role of Azolan, and mine by Valmont. This was my first lead, and I was quite nervous. All those words....
Anyway, we rehearsed and rehearsed and finally it was opening night. Right up until the house opened, the actor playing Merteuil and I were on the stage, running lines, hoping we didn't screw up royally. (Interesting [maybe] aside, she and I were living together at the time) Moments before the lights came up on the first scene, a huge thunderstorm hit outside, thunder and lightning and very heavy rain, so throughout the whole first scene we had to basically scream our lines so that the 3/4 round audience could hear us over Nature's performance. And, halfway through the scene, water started pouring onto the stage from a leak way up in the dim recesses of the roof of the auditorium, puddling on the portable parquet floor we had borrowed from a local hotel.
We made it through the scene, though, and the whole performance, without any major problems. In fact, things went fairly well until the penultimate performance.
As any of you who have been involved in theatre know, there is often as much (or more) drama backstage as onstage in any production. All of the backstage came to a head in that next-to-last performance, and one of the actors purposely missed an entrance cue (imagine Noises Off!, without the comedy). Things went downhill from there.
A few scenes later, "Merteuil" and I skipped from the middle of Act 2, Scene 1 to Act 2, Scene 5 without realizing it. When we did realize it, we stumbled around, both of us trying to figure out a way to get back on track and hoping the lights would go to black, until finally she asked, in character, "What do we do now?" and I replied "I have no idea." and stormed out... of "my" house, and walked straight to the director, who was standing off stage, holding his head.
"Just keep going," he said. "Which scene?" I asked. "Scene 2."
So we kept going, finished the performance, and no one in the audience - including the two Drama faculty in attendance - ever seemed to notice.
The final show went flawlessly.
30 November 2007
Reflections On NaBloPoMo
1) I've enjoyed participating in this, albeit in a (what I consider) peripheral manner. By that I mean that while I have visited other NaBloPoMo blogs, and have read some very good stuff that I would not have seen were it not for NaBloPoMo, I haven't really engaged with those newly found blogs. Nor have I added any of my posts to the NaBloPoMo site, as quite a few of the participants have. My own failings at work there.
2) Believe it or not, I have found the whole thing somewhat limiting. Let me explain. I started this blog back in March of this year, and I'm still working to find my niche. Occasionally I have deep thoughts and I try to write about them. But, in my opinion, way too many of my posts have been fluff and (hopefully) somewhat humorous. Still, I have managed to average, over the life of the blog, an average of just under one post a day. Which is somewhat surprising to me.
So, how do I feel the NaBloPoMo has limited me? The idea that I have to post (at least) one a day has kept me from delving into some of the ideas I've had - because they would be time-consuming and might make me miss a day. Also, I have put off more than one post simply out of fear that the next day I might not come up with something to say, and would need to use it then.
[As an aside, I hope that people got the intended humor in my post "This Non-Post Has No Title", wherein I wrote 375 words to say that I had nothing to say.] Never mind.
3) My loony bun is fine Benny Lava. [sorry, PD, I just can't help myself!]
4) In reference to Reflection #2, I find the intimidation of a daily requirement somewhat surprising. During a recent chat with a friend (you know who you are!), we were discussing the whole working under a deadline thing - not with reference to NaBloPoMo - and I mentioned to said friend that I really thrive under those conditions, and ever since my early school days, when I discovered that papers I wrote on the bus on the way to school the day they were due ended up with better grades than papers I actually spent time composing, I have pretty much used that as a guiding principle. Not just in writing, but in a lot of things. And have been labled[sic] as lazy because of it.
The point here is, I don't understand why I would feel intimidated, because I know that I can come up with something - always.
5) I've always felt like an outsider, and I sometimes have difficulty participating in group things, so NaBloPoMo has helped me to become more "civilized" - no word yet as to whether that's a good thing.
6) There is no Reflection 6.
7) Will I participate next year when this rolls around? I guess you'll just have to stay tuned to find that out.
2) Believe it or not, I have found the whole thing somewhat limiting. Let me explain. I started this blog back in March of this year, and I'm still working to find my niche. Occasionally I have deep thoughts and I try to write about them. But, in my opinion, way too many of my posts have been fluff and (hopefully) somewhat humorous. Still, I have managed to average, over the life of the blog, an average of just under one post a day. Which is somewhat surprising to me.
So, how do I feel the NaBloPoMo has limited me? The idea that I have to post (at least) one a day has kept me from delving into some of the ideas I've had - because they would be time-consuming and might make me miss a day. Also, I have put off more than one post simply out of fear that the next day I might not come up with something to say, and would need to use it then.
3) My loony bun is fine Benny Lava. [sorry, PD, I just can't help myself!]
4) In reference to Reflection #2, I find the intimidation of a daily requirement somewhat surprising. During a recent chat with a friend (you know who you are!), we were discussing the whole working under a deadline thing - not with reference to NaBloPoMo - and I mentioned to said friend that I really thrive under those conditions, and ever since my early school days, when I discovered that papers I wrote on the bus on the way to school the day they were due ended up with better grades than papers I actually spent time composing, I have pretty much used that as a guiding principle. Not just in writing, but in a lot of things. And have been labled[sic] as lazy because of it.
The point here is, I don't understand why I would feel intimidated, because I know that I can come up with something - always.
5) I've always felt like an outsider, and I sometimes have difficulty participating in group things, so NaBloPoMo has helped me to become more "civilized" - no word yet as to whether that's a good thing.
6) There is no Reflection 6.
7) Will I participate next year when this rolls around? I guess you'll just have to stay tuned to find that out.
29 November 2007
Thursday Python & etc....
Morning!
How is everybody today?
I'm tired, thank you. I did something today that I haven't done in a long time (no, not that). I... wait for it... went to work! Yep, the whole swinging a hammer, nailing nails, building stuff thing.
I realized, after about an hour, that the muscles I use for blogging and InterWebs surfing are not the same ones used in construction.
I be sore.
Anyway, here's today's Pythonity:
How is everybody today?
I'm tired, thank you. I did something today that I haven't done in a long time (no, not that). I... wait for it... went to work! Yep, the whole swinging a hammer, nailing nails, building stuff thing.
I realized, after about an hour, that the muscles I use for blogging and InterWebs surfing are not the same ones used in construction.
I be sore.
Anyway, here's today's Pythonity:
28 November 2007
We Didn't Start The Phyre -- Oh, Wait, I Just Did!!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
What's happening, Phriends! Turkey Day, Black Friday and Cyber Monday are all behind us, and it's time for Phyre-ey Wednesday!! Err, or some such. Wev.
Phyre. Phriends. Phun. Phantastic.
You know where the Creek is by now, and the picnic table is groaning with the massive amounts of munchies, so Speak Up!
27 November 2007
Important Breaking News!
Your Elf Name Is... |
 |
What's Your Elf Name?
Also
Also
Your Inner European is French! |
 Smart and sophisticated. You have the best of everything - at least, *you* think so. |
26 November 2007
A Question Submitted for The CNN GOP YouTube Debate Thingy
"...and my family and I are spending a litttle time in Iowa these days." ROTFLMAO
Why Am I Posting At 2am?
Because I spent the last hour scanning the Flickr set at Teh Bestest Review of the Creation Museum Evah! Make sure you turn on the captions if you look at the pics.
(Thanks to frequent Shakesville commenter Nik.E.Poo, who left the link over at PortlyDyke's)
(Thanks to frequent Shakesville commenter Nik.E.Poo, who left the link over at PortlyDyke's)
25 November 2007
This Is A Post About Sports
Note to Jen: Sorry.
I have given up on the Panthers for this season (but I'll probably keep watching the games). I'm talking about the NFL here. The Carolina Panthers. Not the Pitt Panthers, or the Florida Panthers, or the probably thousands of elementary, middle, junior & senior high schools that have a Panther as their mascot.
If you watched the game today between the Panthers and the New Orleans Saints, you'll understand why.
If you're not into sports, then don't worry, 'cause I'll return to my normal test-posting, bs-ridden self tomorrow.
That is all.
I have given up on the Panthers for this season (but I'll probably keep watching the games). I'm talking about the NFL here. The Carolina Panthers. Not the Pitt Panthers, or the Florida Panthers, or the probably thousands of elementary, middle, junior & senior high schools that have a Panther as their mascot.
If you watched the game today between the Panthers and the New Orleans Saints, you'll understand why.
If you're not into sports, then don't worry, 'cause I'll return to my normal test-posting, bs-ridden self tomorrow.
That is all.
24 November 2007
This Non-Post Has No Title
Well, it's happened. Day 24 of NaBloPoMo and I have nothing to say.
Nada.
Zip.
Zilch.
I am sans words. My fingers sit idle over the keyboard, waiting for my brain to send signals for them to leap into action and transfer my synaptic firings into words on the computer screen. But there's nothing.
I could say... no, no, not that. How 'bout... nah.
It's a hard thing to be a writer who has no words. Normally I get into the moment and somehow thoughts become words that become sentences and paragraphs and, if I'm very lucky, a cohesive post.
But not today. Today I got bupkiss.
I could write about the fact that it's cold, but it's the last week of November and it's supposed to be cold (in these here parts, anyway). I could let one of the Faithful Sidekicks write a post, but they're not really blog mascots, so.... I don't have any offspring, much less a bilingual child, so I can't post cute jokes in Spanish.
I'm telling ya, I ain't got nothing to say!!
I am blog-mute!
Now, if I'd driven to Chicago for Thanksgiving, I could do a whole series of posts, but I didn't go anywhere except next door and there's not a whole lot of post in "I stepped outside and walked through Teh Woods to Neighbor's house and had dinner."
The union of my ideas and the computer is an empty set.
Hell, if I had a pair of cute-cute-cute new house slippers, I could talk about them... alas, I do not. Were I able to read Hebrew and Aramaic, I could become a biblical scholar and write authoritatively about National Bible Week, but I do well to maintain my ability to communicate in English.
I no can haz wurdz.
So, I suppose I will just have to admit defeat and stop staring at this blank screen.
The only thing I have to say is...
*sigh*
(my thanks to konagod, pidomon, Jennifer, DCup &MathMan, Cunning Runt, and Portly Dyke for helping me to say nothing today. Go ye all and visit their fine establishments. They all have words a plenty! [Links to each and sundry available in the sidebar])
Nada.
Zip.
Zilch.
I am sans words. My fingers sit idle over the keyboard, waiting for my brain to send signals for them to leap into action and transfer my synaptic firings into words on the computer screen. But there's nothing.
I could say... no, no, not that. How 'bout... nah.
It's a hard thing to be a writer who has no words. Normally I get into the moment and somehow thoughts become words that become sentences and paragraphs and, if I'm very lucky, a cohesive post.
But not today. Today I got bupkiss.
I could write about the fact that it's cold, but it's the last week of November and it's supposed to be cold (in these here parts, anyway). I could let one of the Faithful Sidekicks write a post, but they're not really blog mascots, so.... I don't have any offspring, much less a bilingual child, so I can't post cute jokes in Spanish.
I'm telling ya, I ain't got nothing to say!!
I am blog-mute!
Now, if I'd driven to Chicago for Thanksgiving, I could do a whole series of posts, but I didn't go anywhere except next door and there's not a whole lot of post in "I stepped outside and walked through Teh Woods to Neighbor's house and had dinner."
The union of my ideas and the computer is an empty set.
Hell, if I had a pair of cute-cute-cute new house slippers, I could talk about them... alas, I do not. Were I able to read Hebrew and Aramaic, I could become a biblical scholar and write authoritatively about National Bible Week, but I do well to maintain my ability to communicate in English.
I no can haz wurdz.
So, I suppose I will just have to admit defeat and stop staring at this blank screen.
The only thing I have to say is...
My loony bun is fine Benny Lava.
*sigh*
(my thanks to konagod, pidomon, Jennifer, DCup &MathMan, Cunning Runt, and Portly Dyke for helping me to say nothing today. Go ye all and visit their fine establishments. They all have words a plenty! [Links to each and sundry available in the sidebar])
23 November 2007
I'm Beginning To See A Pattern Emerging
First, reading my blog requires a Genius Level.
Now, I'm equated with Albert Einstein.
What will the future show?
Stay tuned.
(h/t to FranIAm)
22 November 2007
Don't Give Me That, You Snotty-faced Heap Of Parrot Droppings!
In honor of the calmness that pervades all family get-togethers.
Make sure you get lots of rest tonight, so you can be a Good American tomorrow and spend, spend, spend!
(h/t to QuakerDave [who's back blogging again] via this Shakesville post)
21 November 2007
Embarassing Photographic Evidence...
...from my childhood.
Note the camper in the background. My life was pre-destined!!!!!!!!
Note the camper in the background. My life was pre-destined!!!!!!!!
Just Thought I'd Pass This Along
Your baby-maker needs to be bigger in order to perform its function well
(subject line in a spam email I received a few minutes ago)
There are so many things wrong with that, I would grow old and die before I could list (and expound) on them. So I won't bother.
Except to point out that it's the womb that makes teh baybee, and I hain't got one o' them. Being a male, and all that.
If you need more instruction as to the multitudiness of wrongity, go visit Shakesville.
(subject line in a spam email I received a few minutes ago)
There are so many things wrong with that, I would grow old and die before I could list (and expound) on them. So I won't bother.
Except to point out that it's the womb that makes teh baybee, and I hain't got one o' them. Being a male, and all that.
If you need more instruction as to the multitudiness of wrongity, go visit Shakesville.
It's Pheaux Phyre Time!
Gobble, gobble!!
Welcome to the Turkey Day (before) edition of the Pheaux Phyre! In honor of the American holiday, have some Turkey:
Oops, I mean:
Crap! I mean:
No, no, no! That's just wrong.One more try....
That's better.
As always, beer and mixers are in the creek and the munchies on the picnic table. All that's missing is you!
20 November 2007
Automotive Update
So what happens to a car when it's parked for over a month in the woods in Autumn?
This:
My poor be-leaféd car
It would be worse, but the wind has been blowing a bunch over the last few days and some of the leaves that decorated the car were, like, totally blown away, dude.
That's all about to change, however, as yesterday I betook myself (in Neighbor's truck) to the Offices of Insurance and License Plating and received in return (drum roll please)...
My wonderful be-taggéd car!
Yes, Friends, Acquaintances, and Those Who Randomly Ended Up On This Blog & Are Wondering What The Idiot Author Is Going On About, I can now (legally*) drive Teh Car!
!!!!
I feel like perambulating - just because I can!!!!!!**
* - I did not drive the car whilst it had no license plate on it. There are some things too stupid for even me to do.
** - I won't, though, because a) it would be a waste of gas, b) there ain't hardly no gas in the car and what little money I have with which to put gas in the car must be hoarded carefully for a time when I have a reason to drive, and c) gasoline is expensive as shit these days!
This:
My poor be-leaféd carIt would be worse, but the wind has been blowing a bunch over the last few days and some of the leaves that decorated the car were, like, totally blown away, dude.
That's all about to change, however, as yesterday I betook myself (in Neighbor's truck) to the Offices of Insurance and License Plating and received in return (drum roll please)...
My wonderful be-taggéd car!Yes, Friends, Acquaintances, and Those Who Randomly Ended Up On This Blog & Are Wondering What The Idiot Author Is Going On About, I can now (legally*) drive Teh Car!
!!!!
I feel like perambulating - just because I can!!!!!!**
* - I did not drive the car whilst it had no license plate on it. There are some things too stupid for even me to do.
** - I won't, though, because a) it would be a waste of gas, b) there ain't hardly no gas in the car and what little money I have with which to put gas in the car must be hoarded carefully for a time when I have a reason to drive, and c) gasoline is expensive as shit these days!
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