A Post In Which I Attempt To Shame A Phriend Into Posting

Why* hasn't she posted? It's been eleven whole days without any Portly goodness!! We all miss you!

Remember, I have a copy of a picture of you wearing a Viking helmet. Don't make me post it.

Love ya, PD!



*(I have it on good authority that she's been superplusbusy in the real world, btw)

Video For Sunday (That Wouldn't Load, So It Didn't Get Posted 'Til Monday)

Weblog Stuff

How cool is the Interwebs Tubes? Here I sit, in the Not-so-Secret Lair, in Teh Mountainz, NC posting away (okay, posting at least once a day...) and people from all over are reading me.

On the left you will see the nation of origin for my last eight visitors.

For those who don't know, the flags are (top to bottom): Greece, US(HI), US(NC), Italy, US(NJ), Croatia, Canada and US(FL).

Hello, world!

A Fiction Teaser

There's a story I've been working on - on and off - for the past while. Okay, more off than on lately, but.... Anyway, below is the first page or so.

It began on a Monday. I had awakened early, downloaded my mail and the day's weather forecast, as usual. The weather service said that strong thunderstorms were likely in the afternoon. My publisher, Dennis, was screaming for an outline, which I was supposed to have sent him a week ago. And still no reply from Janna. I fixed some breakfast and scanned the world headlines of the day. Only two terrorist bombings, one in Baghdad, at the occupation headquarters, and the other in Tokyo, at a bath house on the Ginza. Crude oil was lapping at the $125 mark again, and the stock market was on the downside of its manic depressive cycle. All in all, the morning wasn't that unusual. Certainly, not with respect to the events that fate would unfold before me over the next... well, very long time. Instead of working in the garden, which had been my nominal plan for the day, I decided to see if I couldn't fix the opening chapter of my new novel. I hadn't sent Dennis the outline because the story had veered sharply from where I had intended it, and the outline I had was no longer valid. What started as political satire had somehow devolved into slapstick, and every time I tried to work on it, visions of Mel Brooks films would flash through my mind. Nevertheless, I sat down at the computer and got to work. I managed to snag a line of thought that I liked, and was soon engrossed in the story and oblivious to everything else around me. With much effort, I slowly steered the plot back onto the course I had intended. Several hours later, I leaned back and stretched, and realized with surprise that there was rain falling on the roof of my cabin. I stood and walked to the front door, and was surprised to see how much rain had fallen while I was writing. Puddles of water stood in the small yard in front of the house, and even the leaves on the maples were plastered together, though only a soft shower was presently falling. I stepped back inside and turned on the television to check the Weather Channel. After a story about skiing in Australia, two commercial breaks, and some strained banter between the co-anchors, the regional map of the Southeastern US came on the screen. The radar image showed several bands of heavy rain marching across the Appalachians, one of which was just about to reach the Toe River Valley of Western North Carolina, and my home. I hurried back outside to double check that everything that needed to be was still covered, and got back on the porch just as the wind picked up and the rain began falling harder. Leaving the television tuned to the weather, I switched on the radio to see if any warnings had been issued. As I scanned the dial listening for weather statements, I began to hear thunder in the distance. Soon flashes of lightning began illuminating points across the valley, each one striking more quickly than the last. As a lover of electrical storms, I was out on the porch again, watching the lightning and the rain, driven almost horizontal by the wind, when a gust practically knocked me off my feet. At nearly the same instant, lightning struck two trees on opposite sides of the cabin. The hair on the back of my neck prickled as I felt the residual energies of the double strike. Then I remembered that the TV was on. Cursing myself for an idiot, I ran inside and unplugged everything. Then I went back onto the porch and watched the rain fall.

Any comments?

Saturday Video

Robert Earl Keen, The Road Goes On Forever...

Why, I Do Believe It's Spring!*

(*sounds best when read as Val Kilmer doing Doc Holliday)

I took this photo this afternoon for someone in particular, but she has generously given me permission to share it with the whole world.



These are two of the early bloomers round these parts, the Redbud (even though it's purple) and the Smoke Tree.

Now, who's your huckleberry?

Thursday Python Random Monty

Eight Weeks and Counting!

I haven't mentioned this lately, but today is the 8 week mark of me no longer being a smoker.

I recommend it to everyone.

Pheaux Phyre Phorum: The Pogonophobia Edition

(If you don't know what pogonophobia is, see my previous post)
Gooood Evening, InterWebs!!!!

Beer, munchies, and such are all in the usual places, all I'm missing is you!

How is everyone out there this evening?


And, in honor of the title of the post, another photo:

This Post is Not For Those With Pogonophobia*

If you haven't seen it yet, you should go check out Liss' post at Shakesville, The Gayest Looks for Leno Collection. I submitted a (scary) photo for the collection, and in comments one of the other contributers complimented me - at least I think it was a compliment - on my beard.

This reminded me of the photo below, which was taken about a month or so ago. Ladies and Gentlemen (and Others), I present to you ... my beard:




* Pogonophobia- Fear of beards.

Sausage Tuesday Links

Two of the funniest things I've read in a long time:

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein did an Easter Post.

Angry Ballerina found something on Facebook.
(pidomon, you must read #12, if you read no other part)

Fear Loathing and Loathing on the Campaign Trail

Found at Huffington Post, and the perfect complement to Bush's statement that his presidency has been joyful, which I linked in my previous post.




(click on above link to get to a huge size image)

I truly hope there's a hell, so The Decidererer can rot there for all eternity.

Truly.

They Hate US For Our ....

God Bless America

Here they go again,
The Yanks in their armoured parade
Chanting their ballads of joy
As they gallop across the big world
Praising America's God.

The gutters are clogged with the dead
The ones who couldn't join in
The others refusing to sing
The ones who are losing their voice
The ones who've forgotten the tune.

The riders have whips which cut.
Your head rolls onto the sand
Your head is a pool in the dirt
Your head is a stain in the dust
Your eyes have gone out and your nose
Sniffs only the pong of the dead
And all the dead air is alive
With the smell of America's God.

Harold Pinter January 2003

h/t to True Blue Liberal who left this as a comment on this post at Shakesville. If, by chance, there is any doubt in your mind that Bush and Cheney are soulless, evil bastards, that post will erase it.

Monday Memories

When I was a wee lad, my dad had boxes and boxes of reel to reel tapes. All kinds of stuff from Bing Crosby to The Sons of the Pioneers to classical recordings, and I used to listen to them all the time.

One of my favorites was Victor Borge, who was a classical pianist comedian. You may remember him from his phonetic punctuation that he did on Sesame Street, I think it was.

Anyway, I was talking to my dad tonight, and we were remembering all those tapes and wondering what happened to them.

Which made me go to YouTube and find this:

Easter Post

A powerful video from Manila Ryce:

Random Bits For a Saturday

1) I went with Neighbor this morning to the Big Box Home Store (not the orange one, the other one), to advise and assist him in buying some flowers and shrubs ... cause he's in the mood to do some spring planting.

ii) Here, in Teh Mountainz, NC, on only the second full day of Spring ... it's freakin' 74°F right now! I'm sitting here with all the windows open, wearing shorts and a t-shirt.... Oh, the weather forecast for Monday morning calls for a chance of snow showers. W.T.P.?

c) A gratuitous link to pirate eggs, because it turns out I can.

δ) I was gonna include a couple of photos of the plants,... but my camera (which I just used earlier today) is being obstinate. Okay, actually Picasa is being obstinate. If anyone wants to stop by, I have the photos in the camera ... or, better yet, I can just show you the plants themselves.

Hmm, there's this thing called Google, where one can search for things ... like photos of various flowers and plants. Of course, these are fully grown and blooming plants, and the ones Neighbor bought this morning are small and not-blooming. Anyway...

He got three more rhododendrons, cause it's not like the freaking
mountain is covered with rhodos already.

And purple azaleas, of which Neighbor bought three.

Ow

Sorry I haven't posted anything yet today, my phriends, but I've been in the bed with a towel over my face all afternoon, trying to block out the light to ease the incessant pounding of my head!!

I don't get headaches very often, but when I do ... Jeebus.

I am feeling a bit less puny now, so may come up with something better than this later this evening, but, just in case I don't, why don't you peruse my blogrolls. Just make sure you start at the top (why, yes, I am biased about that blog... but it is alphabetically first). She's got pictures of her beautiful daughters, catholic acolytes, and Roman "soldiers".

Thursday Python (Monty) Randomness - Spring Edition

For all the bankers out there:

Pheaux Phyre Phorum: The It's All In The Open Edition

Happy Odin's Day, everyone! You know what that means ... Odin's ravens, Hugin and Munin ("thought" and "memory") are flying about. What will they inspire you to say, I wonder, on this open thread?

Drinks, munchies, etc. are all in the usual places.

Oh, it's raining here this evening, so I may be in and out as the weather does its usual number on Neighbor's (and therefore, my) InterWebs Tubes connection.

If nothing else, you can talk about that. :)

And so, phriends, what have you got on? Your mind?

Got Karma?

So, I was taking my walk a while ago - getting it in before the rain starts. The threat of rain which is the reason I'm not working today. And so I took a nice long walk.

And, whilst walking, encountered a neighbor up the road - up on his roof, spreading a tarp. "Need a hand?" I asked. "Sure, if you don't mind," came the reply. The storm last week took some shingles off his roof, and he was worried about water soaking in. So I helped him spread the tarp over the questionable part of the roof, and weight it down with bricks.

He was happy, and I got not only the satisfaction of helping someone, but a cup of some pretty decent coffee, out of the whole thing. And then continued on my walk.

No rain yet. And I'm sure that the installation of the tarp on that roof will be the insurance that it will not rain today.