17 August 2007

Tagged By a Monkey!

Dr. Monkey von Monkerstein, that is. And several days ago, as well. That's what I get for not spending all my time online, reading blogs....

Don't get me wrong, I lurve Teh Interwebs - and all the great blogs. It's just been so fucking hot this week, and I've had real world (personal) concerns keeping my attention.

Okay, I've been playing Rise of Nations pretty much non-stop. That's just the way I roll - when I play a game, I play a fucking game and woe be unto anything that interferes with that (you know, like earning money, etc....).

Aaany-way, I've been well and truly tagged by Dr. Monkey with a four-square meme. Here 'tis:

Four jobs I've had or currently have in my life:

1 - Landscaper: I needed work and a friend of mine said, "Come to work with me. I know how to get you hired." Turns out the owner of the company was so scatter-brained that when my friend told him that I'd been working for the "Not A Clue" Landscaping Company for the last two months, he just nodded and asked how I liked it. I worked there on and off for six years....

2 - College Tutor: At a community college, I was the "infield utility" tutor. Which meant, I knew a little about everything (as opposed to a lot about any one thing), so when a student needed tutoring in a subject that none of us tutors really knew a lot about, I got the gig. I tutored a group of nursing students in Anatomy and Physiology (hey, I've got both!), Business Math to a Haitian exchange student who spoke only French (which I don't speak - but, as "they" say, math is the international language) - and also taught him the basics of English, and other odd subjects.

3 - Bartender: Another job I got just by being there. I was sipping my screwdriver at my favorite watering hole, when the owner found out that one of the bartenders left town. He asked, "Do you know how to mix drinks?" "Sure," I lied. The next night I started work. I worked there on and off, the same six years I worked (or didn't) for Not A Clue Landscaping.

4 - Head Shop Operator: I was driving down Blowing Rock Road in Boone, NC one day, and a pink Jeep forced me into a parking lot. It was the owner of the local head shop, who wanted me to work for him and open a new location in the city of my choice (which is how I ended up in Asheville). The best thing that ever happened at that gig was when I added "Ask about our naked shopper discount" to the ad copy one week, in an attempt to generate some buzz. I had no idea there were so many people willing to get naked for a discount on a purchase. Good times....

Four countries I have been to:

1 - USA! USA! USA!

2 - Can - a - da! Can - a - da! Can - a - da!

3 - ....

4 - I hain't never been nowhere else.

Four places I'd rather be right now:

1 - Some place cold.

2 - Seriously, I've always had an urge (as yet unfulfilled) to live in Alaska.

3 - Or Canada ( BC or the Yukon). Yeah, I'm fuckin' crazy, why do you ask?

4 - The Scottish Highlands is also very appealing, and I like mutton, which would be a bonus.

Four foods I like to eat:

1 - Take two slices of homemade bread, a huge tomato fresh from the garden, slather on some Duke's Mayonnaise (yes, I'm a true Southerner) and a little bit of salt. Fresh food from the garden is the only thing I like about Summer.

2 - Barley's Taproom in Asheville has the bestest Beefalo burger! They also have an awesome White Pie (that's a pizza for those not in the know).

3 - I really like rice. If I were forced to eat only one food item, well... rice.

4 - Sweet corn, if prepared correctly. To properly prepare sweet corn, one must have the water boiling in the big iron pot hanging over a fire next to the garden before the corn is picked. When the boiling's done, add a little bit of butter, little bit of salt. If you've never had truly fresh sweet corn, I feel sorry for you.

Four personal heroes, past or present:

1 - Mahatma Ghandi. Producer of fine rice - oh, wait, that's not right. Ghandi (and those who have followed in his footsteps, such as Martin Luther King, Jr.) was able to effect change through non-violent means. We are sadly lacking in people of that caliber these days.

2 - Albert Einstein. He was so far outside the box in his thinking, that for all practical purposes there was no cardboard in his universe. We seem to be lacking people like that in today's world as well.

3 - Nikola Tesla. A scientific genius whose discoveries are still not appreciated fully, he was more concerned with invention than money. This is an attitude that is nearly dead in today's world.

4 - George W. Bush. Seriously. He's proof positive that no matter what a moronic, immoral imbecile you are, you can still (pretend to) be President of the United States.

Four books you've just read or are currently reading:

1 - Bard by Morgan Llewellyn.

2 - Hamlet's Mill by Goirgio de Santillana and Herta von Dechend.

3 - Knife of Dreams by Robert Jordan.

4 - The Innocents Abroad by Mark Twain.

That's it, friends.

Oh, I tag DCup, Teh Portly Dyke, Jennifer, and Icaia.

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